My Spirited Child

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Okay, so since I started this blog early last year, I have spoken quite a bit about myself and D, my first born. Over the course of the past year, as DD has continued to grow and change, it has become more and more obvious to me, leaving no doubts in my mind…

I have another spirited child on my hands.

What are the chances that someone could produce two highly unique, but also highly spirited children? The whole nature vs. nurture debate comes into play here, but in my opinion, it’s a little bit of both.

While DD picks up behavioural traits from my husband and I, as well as her brother, she is her own beautiful soul and has a personality I have yet to come across in another person before.

She has many attributes that inspire (and sometimes even frustrate me):

  • bravery
  • fearlessness
  • stubbornness
  • persistence
  • determination
  • curiosity
  • passion
  • and I think most importantly, her delight in absolutely everything (except maybe sitting still!)

I never in my wildest dreams thought I could handle having two spirited kids, especially with my own tendencies, but honestly they are so different and their personalities compliment each other’s so well that not only am I excited at this realization, but proud of who they are and who I know they will become. No matter what makes these two little hearts happy, I know they will have great success in life.

Oh, and ps: I had a lovely chat with Dallas’ preschool teacher yesterday and she informed me that he gets rather upset when things don’t go his way or people don’t listen to his ideas, but that he is incredibly bright and eager to learn. Sounds all too familiar!

Recommended Reading

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I’ve decided to compile a list of my favourite resources; things that have helped me and continue to inspire me as both a mother and a human being. I have started with a few of my favourite books, and hope to add blogs in the future. Happy reading!

Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

The Minds of Boys by Michael Gurian

Kids Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso

The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene

Redefining Girly by Melissa Atkina Wardy

Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford

Have you read any of these? What did you think?

Do you have any recommendations for me to check out? I’d love to hear from you!

Balancing Act

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PoiseHappy New Year!

2014 was my very first full year as a mother of two, and it taught me many things. Like how to cook dinner with one kid on your back and the other one clinging to your leg and that every time your newly potty trained child will have to poop is the exact second after you have sat down to nurse the baby.

All jokes aside, the number one thing I learned, and am still working on daily, is balance.

To start off the new year, I have taken the Hands Free Mama pledge, from the talented and inspiring blogger turned author, Rachel Macy Stafford. The stories she tells of life before her epiphany were all too familiar and I did not want to go any further down that path.

I have always been a bit of an over-scheduler, and to be honest I believe that everything I take on is a part of me and denying that would be stifling my true self. But I don’t want anything to come at the expense of my family. That’s where balance comes into play.

For the past week, I have been rising a full hour before the kids in order to get a few pressing matters out of the way, allowing me to be fully present during breakfast and our entire morning routine. Of course for this to be successful, I have to start going to bed an hour earlier, which I haven’t quite mastered yet.

Some days I could use a nap by lunch time, especially since going back to work a few weeks ago (I’ll blog about that exciting news later in the week), but it’s a small price to pay for the feeling of accomplishment that I get without having to compromise time with my loved ones.

I’ve found that I’ve had to become more organized and more conscious and protective of my spare time (i.e. no getting lost in news feeds or spending 45 minutes trying to find something to watch on Netflix). I realize I need to maximize my free time to include the things I truly value. Some days that might be writing, some days that might just be doing something nice for myself like taking a bath uninterrupted. That and lowering my expectations. This is the year I will let go of mommy guilt for good, slow down and allow myself to fully experience the things that bring me the most joy. It is only then that I can be the wife, mother and woman who I strive to be.

I want to be a hands free mama, but I also want to be fulfilled as a separate entity and I wholeheartedly believe that if you want something bad enough, you will find a way to make it work.

It’s all about balance.

2014 in review

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,500 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 25 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Back to Zero

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Inspired by Nurshable‘s posts about not yelling, I am proud to say I made it to Day 9. NINE. For me that is quite a feat. I don’t know if I have mentioned it before, but I have what my husband calls a bit of a tone problem. Even when I am completely calm (albeit passionate about something) it can appear to others as if I am yelling. Like at them.

Over the past nine days, I have been yelled at, I have been stressed, I have been worn out, I have been completely frustrated. But I did not yell.

Until today.

I’m not even exactly sure what set me off, or what made today different, but I felt it coming and I was powerless to stop myself. Of course it only lasted for a short time, as feelings of anger often do, and then the usual rush of guilt set in and I wanted to curl up in a tiny little ball until I disappeared from sight.

But that wouldn’t do anyone any good.

If I have learned anything it’s that all I can do is try again. All I can do is admit I was wrong, apologize and move on.

So here I am. Back to zero. Ready to try again tomorrow.

Happy New Year

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“Aprils have never meant much to me, autumns seem that season of beginning, spring…. I thought of the future, and spoke of the past.” — Truman Capote

It came up in conversation the other day about how the first day of fall seems to feel like a natural reset button, as opposed to January 1st. Personally I have always been of this mindset and I start counting down by the middle of July.

Maybe it’s all those years of school that have ingrained it into my head, but every time September rolls around I find myself refreshed. The change in the weather, falling back into a routine, I just feel so inspired. The autumnal equinox is my New Years Day.

I am passionate and focused and I look forward to the future, but I’m also wiser for the lessons these last few months have taught me. I have made many wonderful memories this summer and they will keep me warm through until spring.

Pumpkin spice everything aside, who doesn’t love fall?