Bare Minimum

I’m doing it again.

I’m procrastinating.

What I really should be doing is writing a 750 word eulogy for my English course (influenced by Tuesdays with Morrie), but instead I’ve decided to write about why I can’t seem to find time to get a damn thing done these days. Yes, I see the irony in case you were wondering.

Since becoming a mom of two, I feel like I’m only ever putting forth the bare minimum. And I am not a bare minimum kind of girl. I am the mildly obsessive if you’re going to do it you might as well do it right type.

Have you ever gotten to the point where you gave up even starting things because you knew you wouldn’t be able to see them through to the end? That’s about where I’m at right now. Take this blog for example. Instead of typing out a quick blurb and hitting Publish a few days a week, I take two hours to write a few hundred words, agonizing over each and every one. Instead of enjoying the process of writing, I put it off all week and dread the thought of logging in.

So I find myself doing a whole lot of nothing. Or a whole lot of half somethings, which still leads to nothing being accomplished. I have about ten projects on the go right now, and I keep breaking my own rules by taking on more. Aside from taking care of two kids and a household, running two businesses, school work, blogging and working out six days a week, I have just started training for my first triathlon and joined a book club. I don’t get to sleep until past midnight every night and D has me up at 6 every morning. No wonder I’m exhausted!

For the past four months now, I feel like I am constantly putting out fires and it’s time for that to stop. I am a mom and my kids are only going to be this small for a short time. They need me and they have always and will always come first. That is the promise I made the day I became a mother. Yes, I have obligations and need to make time for myself and for the things I am passionate about, but I also need to slow down and take a deep breath and know that it is physically impossible for me to “do it all”.

The way I see it I have two choices. I can give up on everything extracurricular that I love (and go crazy and be of no use to anyone) or simply lower my expectations. It’s okay that I’m late to everything and that I skip a couple workouts here and there. It’s okay that I only post once a week, or sometimes even less. I need to allow myself to not be perfect at everything I set out to do. I need to prioritize what it is I hope to accomplish. Most importantly I need to realize that no one (other than myself) expects me to accomplish much of anything right now, and be thankful for the days I find time to shower and get dressed.

Parenting is all about lowered expectations and I’m starting to be okay with that.

Sunday in the Kitchen (Friday Edition) | Homemade Bum Butter

So it seems these days, DD has traded in her colic for teething. Oh boy.

All that excess saliva, which is more acidic than usual because of the teething, has given my poor girl a diaper rash. At least I think that’s the cause. I have never dealt with diaper rash before and I haven’t been doing anything different lately. We tried naked time to air it out, and while adorable, it wasn’t all that effective.

When you have never had a baby with diaper rash before, you don’t own any cream. Except that unopened Costco sized tub of Penaten from a well meaning family member that’s been sitting on a shelf collecting dust since early 2011. But of course that’s not cloth diaper safe. (insert eye roll here)

Always up for a challenge, I decided I would make my own. I remembered I had pinned a recipe from Green Child Magazine awhile back, so I made a shopping list and headed out the door. Like most of my projects, this one cost me double what it would have if I had just bought something at a store (even though I already had half the ingredients at home), but at least I now have enough cream to last me until potty training.

Here is my attempt at making homemade bum butter, as I like to call it.

Ingredients:

* 1/3 cup of coconut oil

* 1/3 cup of shea butter (I used organic raw African shea butter… this was the most expensive part, but it is phenomenal)

* 56 grams/2 oz of beeswax (works out to be a 1/4 cup)

* 5 drops of tea tree oil

First I measured out the shea butter and coconut oil into a sauce pan, then added the bar of beeswax and tea tree oil. Using the double boiler technique (another one of the things I learned from Jules), I melted the ingredients.

Then I poured the mixture into a bowl and put it into the freezer for about 15 minutes.

Here is what the mixture looked like before going into the freezer

 

And after

Then I blended everything until it was nice and smooth and poured some into an old mint tin.

What was leftover I scraped into a Mason jar for future use. I allowed the mixture to cool and thicken and then stored both that and the tin at room temperature.

There you have it, homemade bum butter.

 

Crack Pots at Crack Pot

Took the littles to Crack Pot Studio today to visit my friend Emma and paint some ceramics. I have been taking D there since he was a baby and we always have such a great time. Since it’s March Break, I thought it would be a fun way to spend an afternoon.

As soon as we get there, D bursts through the door to let everyone know he has arrived. The staff (especially Em) are fantastic and it’s okay that he’s a bit of a wild man. He has yet to break anything, so I think that works in his favour.

Within seconds he decides on a robot coin bank to paint. I totally envy his ability to be so in the moment sometimes. He doesn’t consider that there might be something he likes better. He doesn’t even care that there are a hundred other options. He happily picks out the first thing that catches his eye, while I spend ten more minutes browsing, before finally settling on a heart shaped plate for DD’s footprints.

Two hours, three trays full of colour and sixty sponges later and our masterpieces are finished. This week they will go into the kiln to be fired and when they are all shiny and ready for us, we will get to bring them home and add them to the collection.

D’s work in progress… check out those buttons

Beginning stage of the plate

Em and DD after we washed the paint off her toes

Spongehead Robotpants

D’s finished product (his artistic vision included a lot of white space)

Baby’s First Crack Pot Creation

D and Taylor, aka Hot Girl as he called her

Bravado Designs | Review

So I have been wearing the The Essential Nursing Tank from Bravado for a full week now, and to say I am in love would be putting it mildly.

I have worn it as a shirt. I have worn it as a bra. I have slept in it. I have worked out in it. I have literally taken it off only to wash it and hang it to dry, which was quick and painless. I have often had to hand wash delicate and expensive bras (and who has time for that?) or realized after putting them in the machine that the bra was ruined or at least never the same again. This was not the case with Bravado’s tank.

It is not only comfortable, seamless and stylish but the functionality makes breastfeeding a snap, which is perfect for a busy mom like me.

I did find that the clips don’t function the exact same as other nursing bras I have worn in the past, so the first night wearing it I had an unhappy baby on my hands for about 3.25 seconds while I tinkered with the clip. Once I got it though, it was completely fine and I haven’t had an issue since. Give me some credit, I was half asleep.

I actually put on my old nursing bra one night while my Bravado tank was in the wash, and woke up with a plugged duct… ouch! Luckily it went away in a couple days with the help of a few hot showers, but that underwire nursing bra went straight into the garbage.

Bravado Designs’ Essential Nursing Tank is a great product and should be in the drawer of every pregnant and breastfeeding mother. I know will be heading out tomorrow to pick up another one for myself and maybe even a couple new bras. My comfort (and yours) is worth every penny.

My Day as a Test Wearer at Bravado Designs

Whether it’s your first baby or your fifth, being a “new mom” is hard enough without worrying about little details. Breastfeeding can be challenging, especially in the beginning and anything you can do to make it easier and get off to a good start is crucial in those first few months.

The first time I heard of Bravado Designs was after I had been nursing D for about nine months. My local Momstown was offering a chance for its members to be on a test panel for Bravado nursing bras. I got to try out the Body Silk Seamless Nursing Bra which is still the comfiest bra I have ever owned to date. I continued to wear it long after D was weaned, using their handy conversion kit. Unfortunately our dog decided it would make an awesome chew toy and that was the end of my beloved bra. I may or may not have cried.

That being said, when I was given the opportunity to be a test wearer again for Bravado, and visit their head office in Toronto for a fitting, I jumped at the chance!

This morning DD and I hopped in the car and braved the rush hour traffic heading into the city. She slept the entire way of course and I put on some tunes for the ride. A perfect way to spend a sunny Monday morning if you ask me, even if it was -15.

After arriving at Bravado and signing in, we were greeted by Lindsay who brought us into the fitting room. We chatted over a cup of tea and then got down to business.

First, Dayna took my measurements and then I tried on a few bras to help determine my proper size. I learned that 80% of women are wearing the incorrect bra size – and I was one of them. I also found out that my band size measures quite small compared to my cup size, making it harder to fit that “perfect fit”. I had measured myself at home prior to today, using a method I found online, and estimated myself to be about a 36D (my prepregnancy size), but when I was fitted by Dayna and Lindsay, it turns out I am actually a 34H/I… yikes! This is a prime example of why every woman needs a proper fitting. Needless to say, a good nursing bra or tank is essential to keeping my, ahem, girls in check.

It was fun trying on all the different styles of bras and Dayna and Lindsay were so awesome and friendly and made me feel right at home. The hour long fitting flew by and DD woke up hungry and just in time to have our photo snapped by Julie, Digital Marketing Manager for Bravado.

I had such an amazing experience today at Bravado Designs, and I even got to take home an Essential Nursing Tank to try out. Of course I put it on as soon as I got home and haven’t taken it off since. It is seriously so comfortable! I will be doing a review here on the blog later in the week.

Thank you, Bravado Designs!

For your chance to be a test wearer, follow the link and fill out the form on their website: http://www.bravadodesigns.com/about/become-a-test-wearer

Here is DD and I posing with
Dayna and Lindsay of the design team

Beyond the Sling

Since I’m on maternity leave and have little else to do with my time apparently, I have been reading, A LOT. I recently finished reading Beyond the Sling by Mayim Bialik. If you’re older than me, you will remember her from Blossom. If you’re my age or younger, it’s probably more like The Big Bang Theory.

Most people are aware that she disappeared after Blossom and became a rocket scientist or something (neuroscientist, more accurately), but not everyone knows that she also birthed two children and has been using her PhD background to explore (and put into action with her own family) the theory of Attachment Parenting (AP). The book covers topics ranging from natural childbirth and breastfeeding to family bed-sharing and elimination communication.

Bialik begins by assuring the reader that her life is not perfect. She has no nearby family members or hired help that assist her and her partner in raising their children, like you might expect from a celebrity. She then goes on to give a brief description of the eight principles of attachment parenting (which vary slightly from the 7 B’s of Attachment Parenting as laid out here http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/attachment-parenting/what-ap-7-baby-bs by Dr. Sears, the father of AP himself):

1. Birth

2. Breastfeeding/breast milk

3. Be sensitive

4. Bonding through touch

5. Bedding

6. Be there

7. Be gentle

8. Balance

While Beyond the Sling contains some information about each of these topics, it reads more like a memoir of Bialik’s experience with AP, rather than being “A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way” as the byline claims it to be. I did find it slightly annoying however that she kept reminding the reader how “normal” she apparently is. We get it. You aren’t the typical former child star.

I guess anyone writing a guide or advice book is bound to end up sounding at least a little bit preachy or judgmental, especially someone with a PhD, but surprisingly Mayim does a pretty good job not placing herself in that category. Although I think that would depend entirely upon the background and parenting style of the reader.

I fancy myself to be a fairly open minded person, but I’m not going to lie, as the book went on even I started to raise my eyebrow a few times. Is it terrible that I didn’t think she was completely nuts though until she said she didn’t let her kids watch TV? How does she get anything done?

All in all, I enjoyed reading this book and I think it’s pretty awesome that Bialik is using her celebrity to shed some light on attachment parenting, even if it might reaffirm for some disbelievers what they’re already thinking. That’s okay though. Attachment parenting is not for everyone. But if you think it might be for you, this is a good read. Just take from it what you will and leave the rest.

Feels Like the First Time (Or, not)

I would just like to say that it is incredibly difficult and frustrating when you experience issues with your second baby after having a first baby that had none. I know I should consider myself lucky that I had an easy baby the first time and that the “issues” I am referring to aren’t life threatening, but I totally thought it would be the same if not easier the second time around. Between that and lack of sleep, I’m starting to feel like I suck at this parenting thing.

D was proficient at breastfeeding from first latch, barely cried and didn’t even get his first cold or fever until well after a year old. That hasn’t been the case with Miss DD. Her feeding issues have really picked up in the last little while and her “colic” is starting to look more like reflux.

While I was pregnant, I went through an extremely rough patch with D. I thought to myself, “I can’t wait until the baby comes because she will be easy. Babies are so easy!” Kicking myself in the ass for that one now. It’s actually been quite the opposite, and although DD is the sweetest little thing, she is definitely not the easy one. (I’m sure that statement might vary depending on when you ask me though.)

Trying to balance a household, two kids and my sanity is seeming to be an impossible task lately. I thought only “new moms” weren’t able to find time to shower and my sink looks like a game of Jenga. Like quoting a hipster’s cliché tattoo collection, “this too shall pass” has become my new mantra.

Love me some Scary Mommy on days when I feel like I’m sucking the most
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/212372938649466898/

 

 

Fingers Crossed

I will try to make this quick because, wait for it… my colicky baby is ASLEEP! For the second night in a row, she was asleep at 8 pm instead of painfully screaming her head off, unable to be consistently consoled.

Yes, as I have mentioned before, babywearing helps and I still try to do it as much as I can but what works for truly colicky babies (as I have read about and experienced first hand) tends to only work for a short period of time before another (often temporary) solution must be found.

I was at my physiotherapy appointment last week, when I mentioned to her about DD’s bout of colic. My wonderful physiotherapist instantly asked me if I had heard of osteopathy (which I hadn’t) and recommended I book an appointment. At this point I was willing to try anything. I confirmed a time slot and went home to do some research.

Osteopathy is a hard thing to explain really, and I will surely get it wrong, but I will do my best. From my understanding, it is a natural and gentle way of helping the body to heal itself. Babies can experience a lot of trauma going through the birth canal, which can manifest into different problems down the road. Osteopathy is known to help babies with feeding difficulties, sinus problems, restlessness, and you guessed it… colic.

My husband and I took DD to her appointment yesterday and it was quite an eye opening experience. One of the first things the practitioner asked during the examination was if her crying was the worst at around 11 pm (it was). He told us it was because her gallbladder was pushed out. He explained to us about the traditional Chinese medicine organ clock, which suggests that the energy of each internal organ is at its peak during a certain period of time each day, and if that organ is out of whack, it can cause distress during that period. After an hour long exam, we learned that her liver was also pushed out causing her to arch her back during a crying spell, and her right hip to be higher than the left. I had no idea! I am positive I am explaining this terribly, but when the practitioner explained it to us, it all made perfect sense.

He gently worked on her, barely looking like he was doing more than holding her and chatting peacefully, making her smile, but at the end of the hour she seemed more content. The range of motion on her right side improved greatly in that short period of time. She slept soundly most of the day, which is typical for her and had a happy alert time in the evening. When 8 pm rolled around, she was sleeping peacefully in my arms and slept right through until 7 am, only waking up briefly for nighttime feedings. SUCCESS!

Whether osteopathy is another temporary fix or will prove to be a permanent solution, I cannot yet say (I will keep you posted). But I do know that right now my baby girl is content and comfortably sleeping in my arms, even as I type this (one handed) and for that I am thankful. No jiggling or awkward living room dance moves required.

Here is an informative article that explains the organ clock far better than I can: http://www.healthymoncton.com/traditional-chinese-medicine-organ-times/ and a handy little graph I found on Google.

Colic and Babywearing

DD all wrapped up in her cocoon

As spirited as D has come to be, he was hands down the easiest baby. He slept through the night at 9 weeks old (I’m talking 12 hours). He barely cried and when he did, people would ask if he was laughing. He was just a happy baby. I thought it was just because we were doing such an awesome job. Every new mother should have a first baby like D. It’s good for building confidence.

I don’t know what I expected the second time around. I knew I wouldn’t have the exact experience, but I wasn’t expecting this.

After the first few weeks of cuddles and cooing, we started to notice that DD’s crying periods were gradually increasing, which is normal since crying is known to peak around 6 weeks. Once we noticed it, it seemed to increase until it was every. single. day. It was exhausting, frustrating and puzzling to us, the parents who had raised a baby boy that literally never cried.

It wasn’t until a friend brought it up, that I even considered it might be colic. Our baby was just a bit fussy at night. From what I thought I knew, colicky babies cried all day every day. I decided to do a bit of my own research. What I learned was that for it to be considered colic, a baby must cry around 3 hours a day, at least 3 days a week, for at least 3 weeks. Check. Check. And check. Now, what to do about it?

Since DD was born, I always knew I would wear her. I was a mother of two now and I needed my hands to be free, while still finding a way to be close to my baby. With some help from my friend Karen of That Mom Blog and a beautiful, new-to-me gauze wrap, I ventured into the world of babywearing. It took me awhile to get a hang of wrapping her up, but now it’s pretty easy and I can actually do it without the help of a mirror. The Front Wrap Cross Carry is my go to (okay, the only one I can do but I’m working on it).

Although it was something I did occasionally with D, I never really stuck with it or learned much about all the benefits for both mom and baby. Now I desperately needed one of the crucial benefits it had to offer; relief from the crying of colic.

I went from once or twice a week, to wearing her around as much as possible every day. It has changed our lives. I can’t even begin to tell you.

DD’s witching hour is between 8 pm-midnight, almost every night now, if not every other. What do I do? I don’t even wait for her to cry. As soon as we finish putting D to bed around 7:30, I pop her in the wrap and stop the colic in its tracks. She might start to fuss a few times but it never lasts long. A couple bounces and she’s instantly quiet again. We’ve been known to dance around the living room like idiots (well, I have). If you have ever seen me dance you understand what I mean.

I am so happy for the opportunity to wear my baby. I feel so close and connected to her, as if she’s still inside me. It’s such a special thing to be able to bond with your baby in that way. Being able to hold her close and still be there for my son is priceless. I am sure there are many, many other benefits, but the fact that I don’t have to hear her little cry and be unable to comfort her is reason enough for me.

It’s funny, I never really knew much about attachment parenting. As terrible as this sounds, I thought it was for hippies. I certainly never thought it was something that was for me and my family and I realize it’s not for everyone else either. I think I was following a lot of the principles already with D without knowing it, but I have learned a lot and many of my beliefs have changed even since having him. Now, I’m proud to say I’m a home birthing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing mama and I wouldn’t want it any other way.